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Is He Gay?
Q: I think my best friend may be gay. He hasnít been out with a woman in years, and every time I mention dating, sex or meeting women, he seems to get very uncomfortable and changes the subject. I want him to know itís okay if heís gay but donít want to bring up the subject and offend him. How can I bring up this issue in a supportive way without making it uncomfortable for him? -Dave, 41

Dr. Anna: That you have noticed and are thinking about this question shows you are already doing a great job of being supportive. Sometimes, though, being too supportive can be a problem. If you come right out and say, ďIf youíre gay, I totally support you!Ē might come from a good place but it may not land as well as you hope. If you are trying to find a subtle way to communicate that you would accept him unconditionally, try making a point to be inclusive in your speech or talk to him about how you stand against discrimination. Leave the door open but donít demand that he walk through it before heís ready.

Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help. Read her complete bio!
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward. Read her complete bio!
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.
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