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Dating Disasters

Wild Love Confessions

Love, Lust, & Revenge
Reluctant to Propose
Q: Iíve been dating this guy for the past seven years. While Iím seeing all of my friends getting married and starting to have kids, I just sit here with my boyfriend and donít seem to be moving forward. Heís such a sweet and caring guy, which makes this all so much harder. But I want to get married already. My boyfriend is really dragging his feet. He keeps saying he doesnít make enough money to get married and give me the wedding Iím looking for. The thing is, Iím not looking for a huge wedding. Iím just looking to start my life already. I hate ultimatums and find them to be really obnoxious, but is it time I present one to my sluggish boyfriend? -Cate, 29

Dr. Anna: Do you really want to get married to someone who isnít feeling ready to be married? Forcing the issue is pretty risky. Instead, try this. Sit down by yourself and decide what you want for your own life. Figure out what you want and why you want it. Then sit down and have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Tell him your thoughts and feelings. Ask him what his own needs, feelings, and life plans are and listen with an open mind. If he is not on the same pageófor whatever reasonóyouíre better off finding someone who wants the same things as you. Donít try to force your boyfriend into a life he doesnít want, it will probably be more painful for both of you in the long run.

Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help. Read her complete bio!
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward. Read her complete bio!
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.
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