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Embarrassed by Dad
Q: I recently had a small reunion with some friends of mine from high school at my parentsí home when I was visiting. I rarely come home to visit and thought it would be fun! My father started yelling at my adult guests because he thought they were drinking too much. I didnít see much of a problem, and he said he was responsible if one of them drove drunk. We are all adults in our 40ís and 50ís, and I feel like this was inappropriate. I think itís because he wasnít in control. Overall, I am embarrassed in front of my friends and angry and my dad. How do I handle this situation? -Carla, 53

Dr. Anna: I understand that you feel embarrassed by your fatherís actions here. But ultimately, itís his house and thus he has a right to set the rules. It sounds like he felt deeply uncomfortable with the level of drinking going on in his house. The reason he was uncomfortable is irrelevant here. The right move on your part is to acknowledge that he was uncomfortable and apologize for that. Itís okay to make a request like, ďNext time youíre uncomfortable, rather than yelling at my friends please talk to me privately and we will gladly move the party elsewhere.Ē You also now know that heís uncomfortable with parties at his house and the respectful thing to do would be to organize parties elsewhere in the future.

Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help. Read her complete bio!
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward. Read her complete bio!
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.
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