4 Ways to Defuse an Angry Woman

You did it again. You committed some unforgivable relationship crime, and now you're going to have to do the time. Is there any way you can soothe your savage sweetheart so you can move on to the makeup sex?

We look at the most common male screw-ups and show you how to fix 'em.

The Sin: You Forgot a Birthday or Anniversary...
...and now she thinks you don't care about her.
The Save: Admit you're just a bonehead when it comes to remembering things. Then start sucking up big time. If you think it's pointless and takes too much time - like writing out ridiculous love coupons promising hours of foot massages or holding her handbag while she shops - then you're on the right track.

The Sin: You Blew Her Off for the Guys...
...and she assumes that means you'd rather be single.
The Save: You just couldn't miss that guys-night-out, so now you need to prove you're thrilled to be her man. The fix? Plan a date more complex than a hostage takeover. Rented convertibles, picnics under the stars, jet-setting to Rome for a plate of pasta - you get the idea.

The Sin: She Caught You Watching Porn...
...and now she thinks you're not interested in having sex with her.
The Save: Since you're not doing anything wrong, don't apologize. Invite her to watch. Bring her into your perverted little world and share what turns you - and her - on. It wouldn't hurt if you let it inspire some action of your own, just to reassure her shaky self-esteem.

The Sin: You Snooped in Her Stuff...
...and she's convinced you're a controlling jerk.
The Save: Let's assume that she's not right and that you're just a nosy moron with self-control issues. Spin it to her this way: Because of your oh-so-sensitive nature, you had a lapse in judgment. You can't help but be nervous being with a woman so perfect; you just had to know what she thinks of you.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • Wanna play doctor? Shall we go through a thorough exam or head straight to malpractice?
  • Don't I know you from somewhere? I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
  • I'm not like all the other guys.
  • I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I'll make your bed rock.
  • Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me.