Foursomes: Double the Trouble
As a couple, finding friends that you both enjoy hanging out with can sometimes be a challenge. You and your sweetie each have your own girlfriends and buddies, but finding another couple that meshes with you both is not always easy. (No, we're not talking about swinging here!)
When you do find a compatible couple, it can be like any relationship. During the honeymoon phase, you're all excited that you like each other and enjoy being together. But what happens when jealousies arise? When one of you starts getting on the others' nerves? Like any relationship, if the friend attraction and the mutual respect are strong enough, you can work through those relationship hurdles. Read on for ideas on how to address the sticky situations that can arise in a foursome.
Sometimes the women become best friends and the guys start feeling awkward and left out. Women, after all, often head to the bathroom together for long private chats and inside jokes. They may begin having their own girls' lunches without the men. When you're used to double dating, this can leave you guys sitting on the sidelines with too much time on your hands. Don't get resentful, however. Instead, make the most of your free time and hang out with your own buddies - since she just doesn't appreciate them the way you do anyway.
In other cases, the men might become buddies and the women just don't have as much in common on their own apart from the foursome. Again, separate time with friends isn't necessarily a bad thing. Encourage your sweetie to plan events with her own girlfriends when you and your new bud hang out.
Sometimes the mutual appreciation and affection in double couple friendships shifts in favor of one person, and emotional challenges develop. For instance, if both you and your sweetie find you like the female partner better and the male starts getting on your nerves, what do you do? Do you put up with him so you can enjoy the company of your female friend? Do you stop seeing them both? It all depends on the relationship and the types of activities you enjoy together.
What happens if it's the other way around? What if the other couple connects with your sweetie more than with you? Jealousy is bound to follow. Do you find yourself trying harder to be funny? Are you resentful of the attention she's getting? Do you seethe when their eyes light up as your gal walks in the room? Like any relationship, ups and downs are natural. Be yourself and don't try too hard. If things get more strained, you and your sweetie might be "busy" when double dates are suggested in the future.
It has happened. Two couples hang out as friends, and you start having "feelings" for your pal's gal. Don't go there! End the double dates and enforce a cooling off period. Work on reigniting your home fires and find other friends to hang with for a while. Don't let the intimacy of the foursome draw you away from your sweetie and into the arms of another woman. Avoid the temptation altogether.
When you double date, remember that your primary allegiance is with your sweetheart. Make her feel special even when others are around and everything else will work itself out.
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