From Hooking Up to Pairing Up
It's your first date. You shared smoldering eye contact over appetizers and flirtatious innuendo over your entrees, and wound up kissing furiously before the dessert menu even arrived.
Enjoying the building sexual tension - fed to inferno proportions with a few martinis, perhaps? - you and your date arrive at your doorstep, swapping the usual awkward good nights, until you utter the magic words, "Do you want to come in?"
Many a happy, stable relationship had an accelerated start. But unless you want your first date to also be your last date, you'll need to smooth the transition from lust to love.
Lust to Love Must #1: Make Your Intentions Known...Lightly
You know not to assume that just 'cause a date spent the night he or she will be spending their remaining days and nights in your worship. Good. Because after first-date sex, the only future you should be planning is for breakfast. Don't assume a second engagement, and don't put pressure on your date for one. But do make your hopes known in a light, casual way (e.g., "We obviously have great chemistry. I'd like to see if there's more to it than that"). If your date agrees, go for it. If not, let it go as a hot one-nighter.
Lust to Love Must #2: Slow It Down
No need to declare yourself born-again, but you should try to spend more time with your clothes on during your next few dates. The problem with premature passion is that it creates a false sense of intimacy. Sure, you know about the face he makes when you do that thing you do so well, but you don't exactly know his character or values or personality quirks. Take some time to learn those things, in addition to figuring out new ways to apply your yoga practice to intimate moments.
Lust to Love Must #3: Look for Commonalities
The great sex buzz may have you thinking that you can build this relationship on how compatible you are in the sack and your shared appreciation for Pauly Shore movies. This is not the case. What, really, do you know about this person, beyond his or her preferred style of underwear and level of alcohol tolerance? Do you have any shared interests that you can do together (that wouldn't call for an NC-17 rating)?
Lust to Love Must #4: Make Your Sack Time Sweet and Hot
Even though your connection is still mostly physical at this point, there are still plenty of things you can do that will make it more romantic as well. Sweeten up your sack sessions by making more eye contact - according to the Journal of Research in Personality, a couple with their eyes locked on one another experiences a marked increase in feelings of passionate love. You can also share indulgent caresses (as opposed to those smacks on the ass!) and more romantic pillow talk ("We fit together so well!" as opposed to "You are so freaking hot!")
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