The Unexpected Relationship

Sometimes you see an amazing girl and know that you'd be "all in" if you had a chance at a relationship with her. Sometimes a relationship develops unexpectedly and takes you by surprise.

The unexpected sweetheart often fits some of these categories:

  • A work colleague
  • A friend of your ex-girlfriend
  • Your buddy's sister
  • A much older or younger woman
  • A long-time acquaintance

Sometimes the reason these unexpected relationships develop is that you start out getting to know each other without thinking about the sexual possibilities. Therefore, the tension is nonexistent and you can just be yourself.

The Switchover
How do you know when the feelings have changed? You know it! That sexual tension is there. The extended eye contact becomes unavoidable. And you smile a lot around each other. Your friends and coworkers will notice too. So you might as well go for it and ask her out. If you've misread the signals, oh well. At least you gave it a shot instead of just idly wondering!

The Real Deal
If she gets to know the real you, then you acknowledge your attraction, you'll have a good bond before dating. When you're friendly with someone and don't feel she's potential date material, you tend to be more honest and open about your views on relationships and what you look for in a woman. If she knows all that going in, your early dates will be less awkward.

The Benefits
Another plus is that when you know each other first, you go beyond the honeymoon phase as friends. You learn each other's weaknesses before becoming blinded by the physical relationship. If you're still romantically interested, that says a lot about your compatibility.

The Dangers
There are a few pitfalls to watch out for, however. If you hang out as friends before dating, you might be a bit too comfortable expressing your feelings and being the real you. You'll need to be careful once you move into the relationship zone. She'll appreciate it if you hold back on the things guys do with friends - you know all those smells and noises that don't make you so attractive to the opposite sex. And if she already knows some specific women you find particularly hot, you'll need to try extra hard not to stare or flirt in front of your sweetie. Just to be safe, be ready with a comparison that shows your girl why she's so much better for you.

The Relationship
If you had fun together before dating, don't let the seriousness factor creep in and ruin things. Keep in mind why you're so compatible and what you admire about this girl, then remind her on a regular basis. On the one hand, you can be more relaxed around her. On the other hand, you need to try harder to let her know she's special and why she thrills you.

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