Beware! A Little Getaway Can Become a Barrier Reef

When you're in a pretty fresh relationship, one person leaving town for a vacation can show you how strong or weak your ties are.

Think about it, when you take a break from the normal routine, status quo can become status “I don't know.” Those little rituals you develop early on--like when to call, when to talk or text, when to see each other and so on--get interrupted. As you renegotiate your communication in different circumstances, the climate of your relationship can change as quickly as the weather.

Gauge the Temperature
Have you had the experience of one person's vacation being the turning point in a fledgling relationship? When it happens to you more than once, you begin to be a bit wary.

Why does this happen? Why do vacations sometimes end up being flash points in seemingly healthy relationships? When the embers have an opportunity to die out, both partners need to either fan the flames or walk away and let them go cold.

Same Ties, New Context
Time apart when the relationship is still fresh can make both partners think about the bonds they share. Do you miss your sweetheart the way you thought you would? Are you annoyed by her need for constant contact while you're out having fun and she's at home bored? Are you thrilled that he wants to hear from you even when you're far apart and exploring new environs? Do you find that you have enough to talk about? Do you find that your desire to be with your sweetie is not as strong? Or perhaps even stronger?

These kinds of emotions can be a wake-up call. Often, you either realize that your sweetheart is really important to you, or you come to your senses and find that the thrill fades when distance intervenes.

If your feelings become lukewarm while one of you is off in the warm sun, give your relationship a chance to reheat when you return. If distance simply stokes the fire of your desire, then let your sweetie know without becoming needy. Give yourself time to reflect on your feelings before acting on those vacation emotions.

Words Can Sound Hollow
But heed this warning--e-mailing, messaging and texting can put a damper on any relationship when you don't have a chance to hear the true emotion that can only be communicated in person or by hearing your sweetie's voice.

Missed connections, miscommunication and misunderstanding can result when you're relying on text to tell your sweetie how you feel. If things are getting shaky while you're traveling, try to find a way to talk and share more than words.

You'll be glad you did, and you just might find that you get the satisfaction you were craving when your sweetheart opens up and tells you that you're missed. Then you can plan how you're going to reconnect when you're back in each other's arms. In the meantime, embrace the away time and make the reunion count!

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