What You Want May Not Be What You Need

In relationships, as in the rest of life, your expectations won't always match up with your reality. That's just the way things work. But when you're feeling disappointed with how things are going, see what happens if you take a fresh approach. By interacting with your sweetie in a different way, you might experience an unexpected relationship boost you didn't even know you needed.

You Want Quiet Time
A typical challenge that develops in a relationship is communicating with your sweetie. You may think that no news is good news. Why talk when you can have sex? Your girl, on the other hand, may think that the silence between you is definitely not golden. She worries if she's not getting enough feedback from you. Her mind starts saying things like: Is he bored? Am I annoying him? Did he meet someone else he's more interested in?

She Wants Reassurance
Although you'd love to have a sweetie who doesn't need reassurance about how you feel, you're not likely to get what you want. But what you need is a connection with your girl that doesn't require constant chatter. In this case, you'll have to give a little. Tell her why you like hanging out with her. Tell her what it is about her that drives you wild. Tell her you think she's hot. And then tell her that you need some down time - quiet time watching TV and just being next to her. You're likely to get what you need after this verbal and emotional exchange.

You Want It Hot
Another typical challenge is sex. Sometimes you won't agree on how to get in the mood or how often to couple up. Maybe you're trying to tell her that you want it hot, and you want it often. OK, so the quick and dirty scenario you envision is not likely to become a daily reality. But to get closer to the sex you want and the frequency you crave, you'll have to meet her expectations as well.

She Wants It Slow
She wants you to talk to her first and tell her how you feel about her. She wants foreplay - kissing, caressing, slow moves. She wants to know it's meaningful and she's irresistible. If you treat her with some TLC, you're more likely to get the exciting interactions you need afterward. Who knows? When you ease her into a good mood, you might even find you'll get that crazy-hot nookie you've been craving.

So, when you find yourself having a difference of opinion about your relationship with your sweetie, try to see things through her eyes a bit. You'll often find that what you initially wanted is not as important as both of you getting what makes you happier together.

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