Don't Date Her!
Limiting your options is not usually something you think about as you're looking for a great woman to date. Of course, you never really know how the dynamics of a relationship will work out until you've been immersed in it for a while. However, there are certain types of women who are waving red flags in your face. Avoid these ladies if you want to improve your chances of having a positive, fulfilling relationship.
Let's be honest - on a certain level, having a woman who needs you is a rush. You get to show her you're strong and good at fixing things. In return, she shows you (in that womanly way) how much she appreciates you. But watch out for the woman who always needs you and doesn't want you to need anyone else. You take her to watch football with the guys because she pouts for days if you leave her behind. She does things for you too - like laundry and walking your dog - but they wind up making you feel guilty about wanting your own space. Before you know her middle name, she's talking about moving in together. Detach and get some emotional distance from this gal.
Although having a woman who's too needy can be annoying, it can be equally annoying to have a woman who has to be in charge all the time. She knows the best place for dinner and which wine goes best with the meal. She corrects your language, your choice of clothes and your driving. She answers questions addressed to you when you're out with friends. Even when it's your turn to cook, she has to tell you what to fix and how to fix it, and then she jumps in to "help." Unless you really want a boss instead of a partner, get yourself fired from this gig.
This woman says yes to a date, then backs out at the last minute with some lame excuse. Then she contacts you the next day and asks when she's going to see you again. She acts excited about future plans, but then when you try to pin her down on dates and times, she says she's got to check her schedule. She emotionally leans in, then backs off, constantly. Either she's not that interested in you, or she's not that interested in figuring out what she really wants in a relationship.
The Recently Separated
Like the Waffler, the Recently Separated woman has a lot of unresolved issues. Even if she absolutely wants to be done with the relationship with her ex-husband, she's not. She's still in the emotional recovery phase, and probably has a lot of unresolved financial and logistical issues as well. Watch out for the back step. She might decide she needs to give her ex one more try to be sure. Family members are telling her to try couples counseling before making the big break. You don't want to be involved in her emotional and financial tug of war.
You've probably come across the User among friends or family members, as well as on dates. She's a glutton for attention, and expects you to cater to her wants and needs. This means you pay for everything. This means you help her when she has car problems, money problems or legal problems. This means she expects you to be there for her, but she doesn't want any expectations that she's tied to you permanently in any way. She gets bored fast when the excitement of being adored fades, but you'd be smart to get bored faster and fade away yourself.
Granted, these are stereotypes, but you and your buddies know these women are out there. Tread carefully near these lovely ladies if you want to find a woman who adores and appreciates you for just being yourself.
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