1. What kind of car do you drive?
When I grow up, I wanna be just like dear old dad. Now I drive his Buick.
Yep, I got one of them there muscle cars: Dodge Charger, Ford Mustang, or bitchin' Camaro.
Hey, Ladies! My fun van's got an Elvis mural, wall-to-wall carpet, and a waterbed.
Eat my dust as I roar by you in my Beemer, Mercedes, Rolls, Jaguar, or a gargantuan sport utility vehicle. And take your grubby mitts off of my leather seats.
One of those older economy models, i.e., Ford Pinto, Chevy Chevette, or AMC Gremlin. Yeah, it's rusty and the tires are as bald as a baby's butt.
2. What's your favorite accessory?
I've got this special James Bond smokescreen thing. ... OK, I admit I'm just burning oil
"My other car is a Rolls Royce" bumper sticker.
Manual transmission means I'm in control--automatics are for wussies!
Did you say something? My car stereo goes to 11, dude! What?!?
My car alarm talks to potential car thieves like David Hasselhoff's buddy, K.I.T.T.
3. What color is your ride?
The color's faded but I've got some of those "wooden" side panels.
Absolutely faceless silver or beige. Well, it's easy on the eyes.
Black. It's cool, but I'm constantly washing the damn thing.
Red. It's as hot as I am and turns the heads of buxom, blonde babes.
Yellow or pink; I admit it--it's a wussy color.
4. What's your definition of "car care"?
I change the oil every 25,000 miles--you gotta problem with that, grease monkey?
Wax on, wax off--I opt for the $29.95 package at the local carwash every other week.
I like to polish the automobile's nooks and crannies with your toothbrush.
My butler usually maintains the fleet. But he hates when I call him Higgins.
I remove the rotting matter from the back seat on a semi-annual basis.
5. What's your favorite thing to do in your car?
Eating egg foo young with the pedal to the metal.
Screaming at my ex-wife on my cell phone. Take note, foolhardy pedestrian!
Cruisin'--it lets me show off my ride to the surrounding lowlife.
Let's just say I've got Barry White playing in the background, if you catch my drift.
Singing show tunes.