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If you think you're really the Fonz and not a Richie Cunningham or a Potsie, just take a coupla minutes to calculate your (probable) lack of cool.

1. Complete this sentence: I'm having the most fun when I'm ...
Hanging out in libraries reading Noam Chomsky.
Stalking chicks on the net. And just how old are you, my dear?
Feeding my Tamagotchi.
Fantasizing about Rosie O'Donnell. Sorry for telling you that!
Pretending I?m the ''Karate Kid.'' Wax on, wax off.

2. What is your favorite topic of conversation?

Fun with Linux.
That shower I took last month.
Unsolved dandruff mysteries.
Would you like to see my scab collection or my used Band-Aids?
I got three words for you, man: Insane Clown Posse!

3. Your favorite foods include

Cod-liver oil.
I survive on a diet of Tang and Ritz crackers.
Vegemite sandwiches. Do you come from a land down under?
Crayons, paste, boogers ... you know, the three main food groups.
Bean sprouts and gruel.

4. The attire which is lying on the floor or soiled in your wardrobe includes

I'm a slave to fashion: leisure suits and Sergio Valente jeans.
I love primary colors: Garanimals or Sears Toughskins
Whether you call them highwaters or floods, my pants don't reach my shoes.
Underwear... with skids.
Kilts -- please don't ask me ''how's it hangin??'' again.

5. What activities do you usually plan for a first date?

Watching ''Psycho'' on video.
Pulling out the old stamp collection.
An evening if pinochle with my date and my mom. Settling in for an evening of ''Dungeons and Dragons.''
Enjoying a game of ''show and tell'' out back in the tool shed.

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