By Georgia Lasure
If you're in a relationship with a woman you're attracted to, respect and care about, that's great. If you're in a relationship with a woman who adores you and considers you her best friend, that's awesome. If you're in a relationship with a woman you feel strong passion for, that's fantastic. However, if your relationship lacks some of these aspects but you're not doing anything about it, then that's not so great.
You might be one of the many people who are accepting their current so-so relationships because they don't believe they'll find something better. Do you feel that you might not find someone better because you're not an ideal catch anyway? Not true! Read on for clues that you might be settling.
More Than Mildly Annoying
Naturally, you and your girl are going to get on each other's nerves at times. But if you find yourself cringing when she talks in front of your friends and family because you're embarrassed, you might need to look closer at your relationship. If you have trouble sitting through a sporting event together because her constant comments and questions drive you crazy, you might need to reconsider your feelings. If you can't get through a whole TV show with her by your side, you might need to change your relationship channel.
At parties, do you find yourself dreading having to introduce your girlfriend to your acquaintances and coworkers? If you don't respect her and who she is, that's a major red flag. You might need to examine what you have in common and why you're attracted to her. If it's all physical, that's not a strong foundation to build on. If you feel like you're lucky to catch a babe as hot as your girl because you're not so hot yourself, you might need to regroup.
Preserving the Peace
Another sign of settling is filtering out your feelings and muzzling your thoughts to avoid conflict. If you're frequently suppressing your views and emotions because you don't want to spark a fight, you might need to reassess your loyalties. If you're afraid that your girl won't like you when you let down your guard and relax, then maybe you're not liking yourself enough. If you have to be someone else to be with her, then she's not the one for you.
Too Close for Comfort
Most couples go through times when they're not wildly in love and are questioning whether they're good for each other. Those doubting times tend to pass, and the passion rekindles. If, however, you find yourself avoiding close personal contact with your girl - kisses, hugs, snuggling on the sofa, walking arm in arm and going to bed at the same time in the same room - you might need to rethink your relationship. Feeling physically repulsed by your lover is not part of the normal ups and downs.
Sure, relationships require commitment and perseverance when times get tough. But overall you should feel that your partner is someone you admire, lust after, respect and enjoy hanging out with. Otherwise, the tension's likely to get worse and the attraction's likely to fade fast. If all these clues make you suspect that you're just settling, you two will definitely need to do some talking. In fact, you might ultimately need to do some walking.