By Laura Snyder
If life were perfect your woman would ask only easy questions, like if you'd like another beer, or if you want control of the remote. Unfortunately, women are programmed to try to figure you guys out, often by posing one of these unanswerable questions.
Lucky for you we've already figured out the best response for every scenario.
Trick Question #1: Is She Prettier Than Me?
You're walking down the street and catch your head swiveling to watch some hottie walk by. Too bad your girlfriend caught it too. Don't fall for the trap when she asks you for a comparison; she knows with impressive accuracy if she's in the same league as the woman on the street. This means that your automatic, "Of course not honey," will be exposed as the baldfaced lie that it is.
The Correct Answer: Sure, she's attractive, but I bet she doesn't have your sparkling wit/glowing smile/dirty mind.
Trick Question #2: Why Did You Guys Break Up?
It's more than just idle curiosity - she wants to know if she measures up to your exes, if you're as happy with her as you were with them, and if you're really over the break up. She'll also assess how much blame you place on your ex (are you an arrogant jerk?) or yourself (or are you lousy at relationships?). You can't win, so don't even play the game.
The Correct Answer: I must've had less insight when I chose her than when I chose you.
Trick Question #3: Where Is This Relationship Going?
Women love to take the temperature of the relationship, but this dreaded question is so vague you feel pressured. Does she want you to propose? Give her a review of your last week together? Just offer ambiguous reassurance? Tread carefully here; you don't want to fall victim to being manipulated into a Big Important Relationship just because you had the poor sense to be too polite. Your best bet is to be both honest and a little vague.
The Correct Answer: That's not something I can decide by myself. Besides, I'm not sure what you mean when you ask that. Can you clarify?
Trick Question #4: What Are You Thinking?
Some women fear silence. When you fall silent, we think the worst. That's because, chatty gender that we are, when we get quiet, we're thinking the worst. But when we ask you what you're thinking, you're surprised. You tell us you don't know what you're thinking. While that may be true, you'd better come up with a better response, even if it's wildly untrue.
The Correct Answer: There are several good responses here and they include: Her. You two. Your future. When you met. How lucky you are. How great your relationship is.