1. How'd you get to where you are today?
It's not my fault. Everyone else gets all the breaks. It all started and ended with that incident at the trailer park. I married well. I busted my butt down in the trenches to become king of the hill. Mummy and daddy have groomed me in their image, sending me to the finest finishing schools, and lining my pockets with gold. 2. How much bacon (i.e. cash-ola) are you able to bring home?
I believe money is the root of all evil. Can you say "poverty line"? I can barely clothe and feed myself. Well, I'm movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky. I'll just let the roar of my Lexus Coupe speak for me. Can you say "six figures and above"? It's not easy being green... 3. How much leisure time do you have and how do you spend it?
That's none of your beeswax, Mr. Nosey-Pants. Loads. I like to do the dishes, mow the lawn, and change the oil in my Gremlin. Watchin' TV and surfin' the Net. Living in virtual reality is cheap. Leisure time? Time is money; time is running out, so I'm just running after it. Ships ahoy, matey! My yacht's ready to set sail. 4. What's your attitude like?
Attitude? I don't have an attitude. Stop picking on me, or I'll tell! How can I help you? Would you like fries with that? I just want to have as much fun as possible. Get all you can, while you can, from who you can! My future's so bright I've gotta wear shades. Designer shades. 5. What does your family think of you?
I haven't spoken to them since they cut me out of the will. They call me the black sheep of the family, when they're not calling me "Cheapo." Mom still provides me with food rations. I've kept up with the Jones'. That's what I call my brothers and sisters. I've vastly exceeded my kin's socioeconomic status. So there!