The Bible's Top 5 Ways to Get a Wife
If you're having trouble finding that special someone for a lifetime commitment, read the Bible. The website RaptureReady.com, a bi-weekly reflection on world headlines from a religious point of view, offers a very unusual list of 15 biblical ways to find a wife. Here are five of them. There's just one problem: You might not want to try this in the 21st century.
Scripture says, ''God helps those who help themselves.'' Or does it? Find out five Bible quotes that aren't actually in the Bible.
1. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: This will cost you a rib.
"The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken.' Therefore, a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh."
2. Find a man with seven daughters and then impress him.
"The priest of Midian had seven daughters. They came to draw water and filled the troughs to water their father's flock. But some shepherds came and drove them away. Moses got up and came to their defense and watered their flock." When the father found out what Moses had done, he told his daughters to invite him to break bread. "Moses agreed to stay with the man, and he gave Moses his daughter Zipporah in marriage."
3. Marry a captive woman.
"Suppose you see among the captives a beautiful woman whom you desire and want to marry, and so you bring her home to your house: she shall shave her head, pare her nails, discard her captive's garb, and shall remain in your house a full month, mourning for her father and mother; after that you may go into her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife."
4. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
"And let the king appoint commissioners in all the provinces of his kingdom to gather all the beautiful young virgins to the harem in the citadel of Susa under custody of Hegai, the king's eunuch, who is in charge of the women; let their cosmetic treatments be given them. And let the girl who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti. This pleased the king and he did so."
5. Marry a prostitute.
"When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, "Go, take for yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord. So he went and took Gomer, daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son."
A wife? No! No! No!
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided...So then, he who marries his fiancée does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better."
--1 Corinthians 7:32-38
WHO says marriage isn't important--or even necessary?